Jack MacFarlane
by Sona.yougg.2002
Summary: Abigail died, and before her death, she gave Jack to Bonnie, as a foster son. By the documents, Jack is now MacFarlane. Bonnie tries her best to make the kid believe that it's all right, and he is gonna make it, but it was hopeless... " I didn't even understand, were my eyes getting wet from the pillow, or the pillow was getting wet from my eyes..." Rated T because it's RDR!
1. Wolves, dogs and moms

Jack MacFarline

Ch.- Wolves, Dogs and Moms.

December. 3 months later Pa's death. The time, when we calmed down from the tears. Mom was , as always, in the kitchen, trying to cook something from what we got. We didn't have a lot of food, because she didn't let me to go on a hunt and earn some money. I was asking her everyday, but always got the same answer : no.

That day, I asked her again.

"Mom?"  
"Yes?"  
"Can I go on a ... hunt?"  
"Listen ." The answer suddenly changed." It's very dangerouse, I understand that we need money , and for food, and for your knowledge, but no."

" But Ma!"  
"Jack, don't yell at your mother!"  
"Mamma!"  
"No!" She yelled.

It was very strange of her. She didn't yell at me for 3 mouths...

I went to my room and locked the door. It's when you hate you parents, because they don't trust you. So stupid... But, I needed a plan , to go on a hunt tonight and bring money home in the morning.

That night, at 5 o'clock of the morning I went to Tall Trees, while mom was asleep.

I walked out of the house. The barn doors where opened, but thank goodness, Chase was asleep. I looked at the sneezing horse , and remembered Pa. He gave me that stallion the day befor his death. Oh...

"Chase... Chaaase... CHASE!"

He jumped from his place and I started to laugh at him . He was trying to understand what's going on for 10 minutes, while I was laughing hysterically at him. I was already on the ground, when he lifted me up with his snout.

"Ok ok boy! I stood up , ok!"

I putted his bridles on and rode out of the ranch.

The Tall Trees was full of noises. Chase started to walk slower and slower. Suddenly , we heard wolf howling.

Chase galloped as fast as he could, and I lost the control of him! He jumped throw the broken tree , and I fell off.

" Chase! Chase come back! CHASE!"

Hopeless.

" Ooookaaay... " I stood up." Wolves... Deers ... Raindeers ... Anyone here?"  
Wolves where here. I took my gun and putted aim on one of the wolves.

Shot! He felt on the ground . I run to him and tried ti take him , when I heard a growling from my back. I slowly turned and realized that I was in the middle of the pack. Crazy , truly angry eyes were watching me wherever I turned. Few minutes they stood like that and then... One of them attacked me, and when he tried to smother me, someone yelled from the woods.

"No!"

Suddenly , mom jumped out of the woods mounted Chase. He galloped to her, and brought her to me. Mom jumped from the horse. All the wolves where looking at her. All except the one who was on me.

She run to us, and caught the wolf from it's neck. The others jumped on us. I couldn't see nothing but fur and paws it front of me for few minutes. I also saw blood. A lot of blood.

As I escaped the rush , I took out my gun and shoted all the wolves.

I run to mom. She was barely breathing. I was so...

" Mom! " I cried. " Mom! Mom say something! Ma!"  
"Tttake..."  
"What?"  
"Mmmme..."  
"Where?"

"JACK TAKE ME HOME!"

She yelled out barely.

I was crying... What was left to do? How could I not cry? There where few days left for her, and we all knew it... Seemed like she was dead already. I was walked to her room, checking on her, then run back to mine, taking my pillow and yelling into it. I was crying hysterically. I didn't even understand, were my eyes getting wet from the pillow, or the pillow was getting wet from my eyes...


	2. New friends, old problems

Jack MacFarline

Ch.- New friends, Old problems...

I didn't even understand, were my eyes getting wet from the pillow, or the pillow was getting wet from my eyes...

The doctor was visiting us everyday, and every time after coming out of her room , he was nobbing, from right to left, which meant only one thing, "not yet"...

In third day, doctor told to mom one thing , that changed everything. That day, I stood next to the door, overhear to their conversation.

"Mrs Marston, we need to understand one important thing, about your son."

"What?!" Mom's weak voice suddenly worried.

"He is not an adult yet , , if you won't find someone as a foster family for him before your death, he'll have to live in orphanage for next 5 years. Do you want me to go to the family you choose?"

My feet started to shake from the word "death". Mom was so young, so beautiful... Death was not in her dying eyes, in her burning smile. _"She is gonna be fine, fine... She won't die, she won't... It's all my fold... It's all my fold... It's all mine..."_ I was telling to myself.

I was just sitting there and waiting for an answer... No one... Suddenly , I woke up from my though.  
" Yes." Yes?

"So... Whom should I call?"

There was a long pause after the question. She was thinking. The question was very hard to answer, but...

"Bonnie. Bonnie MacFarline."  
"Are you sure?"

"Yes, yes I am. She is a good women, she'll take care of him... Yes, yes..."  
"Bonnie... Mac... Hmm..." The doctor wrote the name.

Bonnie was visiting us after Pa's death. She told he saved her life from being hanged , after she saved his. She always says that she has a life duty to our family every time we asked for something to her. That's why mom was sure she'll agree. But, also , this five months Bonnie was visiting us weekly. She was the only person ,well , after me ( mom was often giggling at my clumsiness), that could make her smile.

Soon, I heard footsteps from the door . I run to my room and closed the door. The doctor walked out . I opened the door , and saw , that he wasn't nobbing this time. He was looking into the papers so deeply, like if there was a chest of gold... Soon, he went away.

I sat on my bed and putted my head into my arms. _"Is this real? Is this it? Is this the end?"... _The questions , that are still unanswered, rolled and rolled in my mind. They are still ringing every time I see mom's tombstone, every time I read her name on it, every time I get more and more sure, that it was not a nightmare...

As doctor went away, I went to mom's room and run into it.

"Mom?! Mom I'm so sorry! " I yelled with all my voice, falling down on my knees. She looked at me and smiled.

I was already crying on her bed, when she putted her hand on my head and told.

" You don't have to be sorry , dear boy. It's all right, all right. It's even better to die than to live in this unfair world, than to live , without knowing why... I knew I wasn't going to live much... I am even happy to die, the only think I was living for is you, Jack, but now, you better go and prepare for Bonnie's visit. Now go..."

"Mom, no! " I hugged her now. I didn't want to let her, I just wanted to make the time stop, to go back in time, and change everything... I wanted to stop it, and stop it forever...

"Jack?"  
"Wwwhat?" I whispered through my tears.

"Do you know what's my last wish?"  
"No... Tell..."  
"It's for you to go and start packing your room, and anything you need."

"No! I am not gonna leave you!"  
"Jack , do you love your mother?"  
"Yes!"  
"Then go and make my last wish come true."

I held her for few more minutes and then went away.

_"It is better to die, than to live in this unfair life , to live without knowing why... "_her words where ringing in my mind , with her weak and soft, dying voice. I was putting my books into a pack , with cleaning my tears from them...

It was 4: 30 something , as I remember, when someone knocked the door.

" W – who is it?" I told trying to waist some time, and clean the tears to not impairs myself in front of Bonnie.

" Jack? Open the door, it's me , Bonnie..."  
Her voice was sad. Of course, she was sad. They became very close this last months, she was even very sad. I stood in front of the door , and then opened it.

She didn't even let me open it completely, before falling into my arms.

"Oh my go – o – o – o – o - d... Where is she?"  
I showed her mom's room, and she run into it.

If telling the truth , I don't know what were they talking about, but when Bonnie walked out, cleaning her tears, she told

" C'mon...

The ride was long and despicable. I thought, I would jump out of the wagon and straight to mom's arms, but no. I was looking back all the time, I couldn't believe I was leaving, I was leaving her behind...


	3. You think I don't?

Jack Macfarlane

Ch. – You think I don't?

When we arrived , I looked out of the wagon window and saw that big, big house. I've seen it before , a few times. We walked out , and Bonnie presented the house. Outside , there was a garden with vegetables. Inside, it was a regular house – living room , kitchen , bathroom and bedrooms. In the living room , there was a coffee table and a sofa. Upstairs Bonnie showed me my room , which was next to her's.

"You better go , look around your room. I'll be in the kitchen, when you're over, come down for the dinner."

I looked at her for a second and saw that panic in her eyes. I didn't realize at the moment what was the matter with her, so I just walked in and bamped the door at her face. Only 5 or so minutes later I heard her walking away.

That was our last conversation in that week. All I did that week was practically crying my eyes out and thinking what should I do with my cursed life . That week can be called the worst one in my life. I'd just sit and look on the walls. I closed all the doors and windows, so nobody had any chance to disturb my loneliness. I seemed to not even notice the fact that I didn't eat or drink all the time . I threw all my books out the window , maybe from madness or something, but thankfully , they lended on Bonnie's garden, so when she went to water the plants next morning , she found and saved them...

Again, all I was doing was wasting time thinking why this happened to me and then sometimes listening to the noises from outside. Those were different. Some reminded me the noise of galloping with Pa and some reminded Mom's care when I was small... But the most common ones were the barking of dogs , which reminded me of Rufus. He was lost after Pa's death. Mom was telling he must've been shot...

It was already Saturday when Bonnie came back.

"Jack..? "

I didn't answer her , I didn't wanna answer nobody that-wise. Actually she came when I was sitting next to the door... Why you ask? I seriously don't know...

"Jack please come out and eat something, you'll die..."

"Go away."

I knew this would not work, but still, you need to give it a chance to make sure.

"Noh , I won't. Listen , I know you don't wanna hear me , but-

"Oh yeah , it seems like you understood it finally!"

"But, I know how you feel and ,I know-

"Psh... How CAN you know how I feel? Did you lost your parents in half a year? Did you loose all the people you cared about in that half a year?! You cannot feel how I feel, and that's a great thing...

"Well maybe I didn't loose the people I cared for in half a year, but I did loose a lot more than you... I had 6 brothers, and 5 of them died... My father died in the undead attack , my mother died when I was young... I had a large family, and what's left now? I'm totally alone , left here , by myself to rule this ranch. " She stopped for a minute and added a sob. Then she felt down on the grown and putted her back on the door, so typically I could feel her behind the door. Now we were there , sitting back to back. Then she took a breath out of the cry, and continued. "And you know what?"

"Wha...?" I whispered ... I couldn't talk normally , because I was ashamed of giving her so much pain...

" I am a strong person, and if you wanna know, I didn't give up yet, and if this broke you, then I'm more manly than you are! 'Cause I'm as manly as 7 man standing side by side, I am as strong as all of my bros together could be , together with my dad and my mom, together with all the MacFarlane ranch can be, and you should be the same way! The same as I am ! 'Cause I am a women, and it's a shame for you to be weaker than I am!..."She paused and continued crying, with such heart hitting sobbs, that even the most unhearted person would be hit in the heart... "So now decide, do you come for a meal?"

I heard Bonnie standing up and heading down stairs.

I stood up too and went after her. Bonnie was sitting on the sofa with her head in her arms. She looked so depressed... You could feel that all over the room...

"Yeah , I do..."

She looked up at me for a minute, then she smiled out of tears .

"Thanks, kid!"

She stood up and hugged me as hard as that "as strong as 7 man " woman could, so I couldn't breath.

"Bonnie, you're smothering me!"

"Oh , sorry! Now go to kitchen! I'll come in a minute! "  
"Uh all right!"


End file.
